Are school days the best of your life?

The age-old saying would have us believe so. For some, they would be right. School is nice and breezy; great opportunities to make friends and no responsibility. But for others, its not. For others, the saying could not be further from the truth. Feelings of stress and low self-worth dominate or even dictate their experiences. But it doesn’t have to be that way; with the right support and changes at the institutional and cultural level, its not a million miles off for everyone to have the best possible experience. So surely, the truest answer to that question is “they can be, under the right conditions". Doesn’t quite have the same ring to it, though. I believe we are privileged to have such a strong education system and, whilst it may have its flaws, there are lessons still to learn and improvements still to make. Wouldn’t it be great if everyone had the best possible experience? Wouldn’t it be great if the saying were truer for more people?

Picture the scene. A classroom, let’s say 30 learners and a few members of staff. Emotions are running high, tempers are flaring, self-doubt is creeping in (and that’s just the staff). Imagine 2 of the learners in your classroom are not having a good time at school. Then multiply that by the number of classrooms in the school, by the number of schools in the country. What you’re imagining would actually be an improvement, as current estimates suggest figures are twice that. But that hasn’t always been the case, has it? So what’s changed? Do you suppose that some adults think back to their time at school with such a nostalgia, such rose tinted glasses, that they forget how hellish it was? What was it that made their school days so good? Or did generations of the past not experience such trials and tribulations as do the children and young people of today? Children and young people in today’s society are increasingly experiencing more challenges to their mental health and wellbeing. Not only that, they are failing to get the help they need. But when there is so much to juggle in a classroom – attendance, attainment, behaviour – who is thinking about mental health and wellbeing? Their own, or anyone else’s? Who’s asking, what is the problem, what is the impact, and what are we going to do about it?

Is it going to get any better, I wonder, when it only seems to have got worse in recent years. Are there more problems that we face, or is there more openness and awareness about it? Either way, there’s something missing, something awry, when our top priority is anything other than the wellbeing of our children and young people. Happiness is associated with all round positive outcomes; literally everything gets better when we feel better. To name but a few, physical health, relationships, behaviour and learning all improve with good mental health and wellbeing. Who wouldn’t want to have a happy experience at school? Who wouldn’t want to be able to honestly say their school days were the best of their life? What is it we go to school for? To be educated, yes, but to be socialised and nurtured too. And yet, we find ourselves in a system dominated by pressure to perform, a system where we are measured, nay, judged on attendance, attainment and behaviour. Does any of that stuff really matter? Or does it matter more that we create an environment where everyone feels valued, grows in confidence, develops resilience and is, fundamentally, happy for all. We need to step back and ask ourselves some questions.

So, whilst I have your attention (at least I hope I have), let’s take this opportunity to give wellbeing a bit more attention. Have you ever thought which is more important – to turn up, or to be present? The difference? Turning up is physically being there (attending, if you will, regardless of your mental state – which, it could be argued, is an achievement in itself). But not a whole lot is achieved, simply turning up, if you’re not in the right frame of mind. Being present, however, is truly having the capacity to focus, having the desire and the will to engage and participate (attendance is a given, if present, and the achievements are far greater). Is it good enough to simply show up? What is more important – to leave school with exam grades and a string of extra-curricular merits, or a strong sense of self-confidence and a resilience to cope with whatever life throws at you (and as adults, we know life will throw)? If we are not preparing our children and young people for what they are going to face when they leave school, not equipping them with the best personal strengths they can harness, are we somewhat missing the boat? Despite the best efforts of our ever increasingly put upon teaching and support staff, is the system failing? Failing to understand, failing to recognise, failing to respond, failing to change the dialogue? A story comes to mind, here, about a person who seemed quite happy and successful on the outside. When others saw them out at sea, they thought the person was waving. They weren’t, they were drowning. How often have you asked for help and felt like you were left to drown? When we see our children and young people, what are they? Waving or drowning?

Its not all doom and gloom, which is good to know. There are some simple things that everyone can do to start improving the experiences of our children and young people. A little bit of understanding goes a long way. Giving people your time and showing compassion when they find things difficult can relieve the pressure and stigma they may experience. Promoting a culture which normalises asking for help, positive thinking, exercise, being outdoors, mindfulness and celebrating small wins (to name but a few). Talking openly about mental health and wellbeing is also important – and sure, it might feel tricky at first, but it can be done – as it lets everyone know they are not alone in their experiences. And remember, these things take time. Improving people’s educational experiences requires patience and persistence; the effort pays off, the improvements do come. Maybe not now, but they will come. Maybe not that you’d ever see, but they will come. No one needs to be told that they can’t change the past, but they can influence the future. No one needs to be told that their school days were the best of their lives, but they might be able to make that true for someone else.